OldArchive / Just Ask Alice
Just Ask Alice
DEAR DUMB: You failed to mention one little piece of information in the story you related—that guy who called off his wedding was already married. I don't know if his fiancee has the right to sue him, but if I were his wife, I'd kick him where it would make him walk funny.
DEAR ALICE: What's happened to common courtesy? It used to be men would remove their hats in restaurants and open doors for women, but that's sadly no longer the case. Walk into most any restaurant and see how many guys are wearing baseball caps.
— MIFFED IN MIFFLINBURG
DEAR MIFFED: If you could see some of the critters crawling around under those baseball caps, you'd be happy a hat's there to keep them from spreading.
DEAR ALICE: This is going to seem a bit strange, but I have a friend who makes pets out of the flies in her house. There are flies everywhere and she even has names for some of them. She thinks flies are cute, I think they're awful. What do you think, Alice?
— FEAR OF FLYING,
DEAR FEAR: It's well known that flies spread all types of disease. Sounds like your friend is suffering from something she caught from one of her pets. See if you can get her interested in spiders and then talk to her about some serious help.
DEAR ALICE: I recently took some family photos to have them developed at one of those 24-hour places, and instead of getting my pictures back, I found I had pictures of this wild party. I know some of the people in the pictures, Alice. Should I tell them I have the photos or just forget the whole thing? Some of the photos could be rather embarrassing.
— MISPLACED IN MILAN
DEAR MISP: I've been wondering what happened to them. Please put the pictures in a plain brown envelope and send them to me at once. I'll be happy to cover any costs you have incurred, and please don't forget to include the negatives.
CONFIDENTIAL TO THIRSTY IN TOWANDA: Don't worry, you can't get Lyme Disease from drinking too many gin and tonics.