OldArchive / Just Ask Alice
Just Ask Alice
— HEADS UP,
DEAR HEAD: Are you talking about boys' or girls' hairstyles?
DEAR ALICE: Our daughter's boyfriend seems like a pretty decent kid, or at least he did until the other day when I happened to see him with his shirt off. He has a tattoo of a big, ugly snake that stretches from his chest to below his belt. Now I'm having second thoughts about this kid, Alice. Any suggestions?
— SCARED OF SNAKES,
DEAR SCARED: Odds are your first impression of this guy was the correct one. I wouldn't worry about the snake unless you find it sleeping with your daughter.
DEAR ALICE: The man I married has turned into a fat, lazy, arrogant tobacco-chewing, nose-picking creature that I can't believe I allow in the same bed with me. Sometimes when I awake at night and feel his sweaty, smelly hulk next to me, I actually get sick. I can't imagine this has happened to me, Alice. He was such a handsome, caring and sensitive man when we first met. Now I want out. Can you help me?
— HOPELESS IN
DEAR HOPE: You and I need to talk. I think we're married to the same man.