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Just Ask Alice

DEAR ALICE: Now that our son has his driver's license, it seems like he's never home. Any sug-gestions on how to keep a teenage driver home?

—MONROETON MOM

DEAR MON: Do everything you can to make the atmosphere at your home pleasing and comforting for your son. You also might try letting the air out of his tires.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: Our church raises funds by hosting public dinners. You seem to have some pretty good ideas, so I was wondering if you could suggest how these dinners might earn us more money.

—CENTERMORELAND COOK

DEAR CE: When I was young and had a lemonade stand, I gave the first glass away for free and charged $5 for the second glass. The second glass contained the antidote.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: My dad says one of the best things I can do for myself is to master the English language. He says being able to use the perfect word often means the difference between success and failure. I say who cares about this stuff. What do you say?

—ENOUGH SAID,

ATHENS

DEAR ENO: Your dad is right. The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lighting and a lightning bug.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: Sometimes my husband and I think you're losing your mind. Are you okay?

—WORRIED IN WYSOX

DEAR WOR: Impossible. I can't lose my mind. It's backed up on a disk somewhere.

—ALICE

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CONFIDENTIAL TO STRESSED OUT: Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most fools do.

—ALICE



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