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Just Ask Alice

DEAR ALICE: A friend invited me to visit a nudist camp with him. I said okay, but I'm not quite sure what to expect. Any ideas?



DEAR UNDER: Expect to be shocked. Most people look far better with their clothes ON.



DEAR ALICE: What is the most valuable possession you have?


DEAR CUR: It's the most valuable thing that we all have and something that most people think nothing about wasting, (until they get to be my age): TIME.



DEAR ALICE: Is it true that former President Bill Clinton became uncontrollably nervous just before his recent heart surgery?




DEAR WO: My sources tell me it is true. When Clinton heard rumors that Monica Lewinsky would be performing the surgery, he became a little edgy. Word has it that it was Hillary Clinton who started the rumor.



DEAR ALICE: I heard someone saying the other day that they had cheated death. What did they mean by that?


DEAR TO: They meant that instead of knocking on death's door, they rang the doorbell and ran away. Death just hates that.



DEAR ALICE: My dad has been trying to get me to believe that when President Bush visited Lackawanna Stadium last week, the concession stands sold beer. Is this true?



DEAR THIS: your dad is only half-right. They sold only BUSH beer.


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