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Just Ask Alice

DEAR ALICE: I like to take winter hikes and usually carry a bottle of water with me. Do you think it would be okay if I added some alcohol to the water to keep it from freezing?

—WILMOT WALKER

DEAR WILM: I'd say forget the water and fill your bottle with alcohol. Add some Vermouth and a couple olives and I guarantee you it won't freeze. Enjoy your hike.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: Moammar Gadhafi is blaming Osama bin Laden for Libya's troubles. Is Gadhafi right?

— WONDERING IN WYALUSING

DEAR WOND: I really don't know. That's something those two will have to work out when they meet in Hell.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: Why does Charlie Sheen think he's a genius?

— CURIOUS IN CANTON

DEAR CUR: If you spent most of your time with a 20-year-old porn star, you'd think you were a genius, too.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: The other day you had a letter about where spiders go in the winter. It's my understanding that they go to their websites. Just thought I'd let you know.

— AMATEUR BIOLOGIST

DEAR AMA: Listen, I'm the one who gets paid to make the jokes. Are you trying to take my job or what?

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: My cousin Cindy is opening a hair salon and asked me to write to see if you could come up with an unusual name for her salon. Any ideas?

— WAITING IN WYSOX

DEAR WAI: How about Cindy's Curl Up and Dye?

— ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: Who's nuttier, Moammar Gadhafi or Charlie Sheen?

— NEWSWATCHER, NEW ALBANY

DEAR NEW: It's too close to call. They're both totally nuts.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: How can I tell when I've reached adulthood? I know the age of 21 is when you're legally an adult, but when are you physically an adult?

—GROWING PAINS, GILLETT

DEAR GRO: You can tell when you've become an adult when you stop growing at both ends and start growing in the middle.

—ALICE

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