OldArchive / Just Ask Alice

Just Ask Alice

 

DEAR ALICE: I know of at least one precinct in Bradford County where the polls are located in a church. Isn’t this contrary to the separation of church and state?

—VEXED VOTER

DEAR VE: I wouldn’t worry about it. The election process in Bradford County this year probably benefited from some divine intervention.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: Why is silence a virtue? I don’t understand what’s so great about not speaking out about something.

—WONDERING IN WYSOX

DEAR WOND: Sometimes it’s better to just keep your mouth shut and let people assume you don’t know anything rather than proving it by saying something dumb.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: Is it true that red meat is not good for us? I hear a lot of talk about this; what do you say?

—CURIOUS IN CAMPTOWN

DEAR CUR: Like most everything else, red meat will not cause problems if you pay attention to how much you eat. The meat that you really have to watch out for is that bluish green stuff.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: Is it actually possible to “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” like the Bible says?

—NEIGHBORLY IN ALBANY

DEAR NEIGH: It’s possible, but you really have to pay attention to what sort of a neighborhood you live in.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: If the world is getting smaller, how come they keep raising postal rates?

—FIRST CLASS, FORKSTON

DEAR FIR: It’s because of all those emails people are sending for free. When’s the last time you remembered to put a stamp on your email?

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: When I’m on the internet I keep getting a popup for a website called Classmates.com. Should I respond to this?

—WONDERING IN WYSOX

DEAR WO: It’s up to you, but I wouldn’t. The reason I haven’t talked to some of my old classmates for decades is because I never liked them much in the first place.

—ALICE

**********

CONFIDENTIAL TO SWINDLED IN SILVARA: If you loaned a friend $20 and haven’t seen him in months, it was probably worth it to get him out of your life.

—ALICE

 

 


Return to top

Copyright 2011-2014 Rocket-Courier. All rights reserved.