OldArchive / Just Ask Alice

Just Ask Alice

 

DEAR ALICE: My uncle, Harold Camping, is the man who incorrectly predicted the end of the world or the Rapture, on May 21. Now he is very depressed and embarrassed, and I’d like to cheer him up. Any suggestions?

—NEW WORLD,

NEW YORK

DEAR NEW: Just tell him this: “Come on, Uncle Harold. It’s not the end of the world.”

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: Don’t you think it’s awful that the taxpayers footed the bill for President Obama’s trip to Europe?

—ANGRY IN ATHENS

DEAR ANG: What’s really awful is that while the president is away, Joe Biden is in charge of the nation.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: Is it true that Osama bin Laden had wanted to be a TV journalist when he was a younger man?

—CURIOUS IN CAMPTOWN

DEAR CUR: Yes it’s true, and he got what he wanted—now he’s an anchor.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: What’s the number one cause of divorce in the US?

—SINGLE IN SILVARA

DEAR SING: It’s marriage.

                 

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: Any idea why Donald Trump decided not to run for President?

—WONDERING IN WYALUSING

DEAR WON: My sources tell me that after looking high and low, he couldn’t find his birth certificate.

—ALICE

**********

CONFIDENTIAL TO POOR JUDGMENT: Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

—ALICE


Return to top

Copyright 2011-2014 Rocket-Courier. All rights reserved.