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Just Ask Alice

 

DEAR ALICE: Is this hot weather we’re having setting any records?

— HOT IN HERRICK

DEAR HO: I don’t know about records, but I heard that it is so hot in Washington, DC that Congress had to install a fan on the debt ceiling.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: I’m hearing talk again about dividing California into two states. If this happens, do you know what they will be called?

—CURIOUS IN CAMPTOWN

DEAR CUR: The southern part will be called the State of Bankruptcy and the northern the State of Poverty.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: I just read that according to a recent poll, President Obama could not beat a no-name Republican candidate in 2012. What does that mean?

—RIENZE REPUBLICAN

DEAR RIE: It means this: Say your name is Joe Blow and you decide to run against the president. According to the poll you would win. Hail to the Chief.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: Is it true that the number of millionaires in America is increasing dramatically?

—WONDERING IN WILMOT

DEAR WOND: Yes, it’s true, but the rest of the story is that last year they were worth $5 million.

—ALICE

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CONFIDENTIAL TO SIZZLING IN SCIOTAVALE: Look at the bright side of this heat wave. At least nobody’s talking much about the wind chill factor.

—ALICE


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