OldArchive / Just Ask Alice

Just Ask Alice

 

DEAR ALICE: Our family’s pet dog is growing old and has started to smell just awful. It’s so bad that we hate to have her in the house. We’ve tried all sorts of baths, but so far nothing works. Any suggestions?

—HOLDIN’ OUR NOSES,

HERRICK

DEAR HOLD: Learn to make the best of a situation and see the positive side of things. We had the same trouble with our old dog, but we loved having him come inside because the dog odor covered up the smell of my husband’s nasty feet.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: I was visiting with one of your neighbors recently and learned that you have given up walking for exercise. What gives?

—CURIOUS IN CAMPTOWN

DEAR CUR: The reason I gave up walking is because I got sick and tired of people in cars stopping to ask if I needed a ride.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: What do people mean when they describe short men as having a “Napoleon Complex?”

—SILVARA STUDENT

DEAR SIL: It means something like this: In the 19th century there was only one man who thought he was Napoleon; today there are thousands who think so.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: What do you think about President Obama’s running the national debt up sky high?

—POTTERVILLE

PENNY PINCHER

DEAR POTT: It’s a sign of the President’s faith in the future of the nation. He puts it something like this: Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.

—ALICE

**********

CONFIDENTIAL TO AGING IN ATHENS: A sure sign that you’re getting old is when girls get on your nerves instead of your lap.

—ALICE

 

 

 

 


Return to top

Copyright 2011-2014 Rocket-Courier. All rights reserved.