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Just Ask Alice

 

DEAR ALICE: I saw on TV where archeologists found evidence of a bee keeping industry that existed in Egypt over 3000 years ago. Know anything about this rare find?

—CURIOUS IN CAMPTOWN

DEAR CUR: Something that most Americans may find hard to believe is that the tools they uncovered were not made in China.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: Is it really true that a man in Des Moines, Iowa was arrested and charged with assault after he threw a bag of Cheetos at his father and hit him in the face?

—FOOD FIGHTER, FRANKLINDALE

DEAR FOO: Yes it’s true, and it just goes to show that health food advocates have been right all along—that junk food is potentially deadly.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: I’m really glad there is no one else out there like you. For me, one of you is more than enough.

—RIENZE READER

DEAR RIEN: Me too. Sometimes it’s even hard for me to be myself.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: Do you think we’ll live to see the day when people are growing crops on the moon?

—WONDERING IN WILMOT

DEAR WON: I hope not. At least not until we stop paying people not to grow crops here on earth.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: I’ve been appointed to head a committee formed by our church to look into finding more things to occupy the youth in our community. Any ideas on how to best accomplish this?

—HEAD HONCHO, ELMIRA

DEAR HEAD: There’s a strange thing that usually happens whenever a committee is formed to accomplish a task. Generally, after all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done.

—ALICE

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DEAR ALICE: I have the feeling that everyone hates me. My husband said I should write to you about it. What say you?

—HATED IN HERRICK

DEAR HAT: Don’t be ridiculous. How can everyone hate you? You haven’t met everyone yet.

—ALICE

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CONFIDENTIAL TO CRITICIZED IN CAMPTOWN: Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do.

—ALICE

 

 

 


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