Just Ask Alice
DEAR ALICE: Is it true that President Obama’s uncle was arrested recently for DUI?
—WONDERING IN WILMOT
DEAR WOND: Yep, it’s true and his alcohol level was higher than the president’s approval rating.
DEAR ALICE: I’ve heard that those sunshields people place inside car windshields can be dangerous. Is this really the case?
— CURIOUS IN CAMPTOWN
DEAR CUR: They’re perfectly safe as long as you follow the directions printed on the back: “Do Not Attempt to Drive with Sunshield in Place.”
DEAR ALICE: With the job market the way it is, could you give me some advice on choosing a career? I’d like to enter a field where I can be reasonably sure of having a job.
DEAR TOW: Learn to speak Chinese and become a translator. They’ll be all sorts of work for you here in America.
DEAR ALICE: Is it true that President Obama’s popularity is slipping?
—CURIOUS IN CAMPTOWN
DEAR CUR: Let me put it this way. It’s getting so bad that on his recent vacation while the president was walking along the beach, the tide suddenly went out.
DEAR ALICE: Now that computers halve such good spell checkers, I don’t sea why high school students like me need to waist our time learning to spell difficult words. I mean it seams silly to do this when their are other more important things to due. What do your think?
— HIGH TECH TEEN,
DEAR HI: I think you should write a letter to Bill Gates thanking him for bringing this wonderful technology to the world.
CONFIDENTIAL TO BROKE IN BERWICK: While it’s true that money can’t buy happiness, it’s a lot more comfortable crying in a Porsche than in a beat-up old pickup.