OldArchive / Just Ask Alice

Just Ask Alice

 

DEAR ALICE: You seem like a nervous Nellie to me. Why don’t you try something to make you calm down a bit like belly dancing?

—DUSHORE DANCER

DEAR DU: My belly dances whenever I walk. Any other suggestions?

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: My husband’s going crazy because gasoline is so expensive and our dog is depressed because a can of his food is almost $2. What’s a girl to do?

—STRAPPED IN SYLVANIA

DEAR STR: Pity your poor dog. Remember in dog dollars that’s almost 14 bucks.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: I offered some friendly criticism about the garage my neighbor is building and he got real angry. Should I have kept my mouth shut and let him discover his mistake when the garage was done with no easy way to fix it?

—CANTON CARPENTER

DEAR CA: You did your friend a favor, but it may have cost you your friendship, at least for a while. Remember that honest criticism is hard for some people to accept, especially when it’s from a relative, friend, acquaintance or stranger.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: My dad tells me to work on having a pleasant personality because that’s what will open doors for me. Is he right?

—TUNKHANNOCK TEEN

DEAR TU: Your dad’s partly right. Personality will open doors, but it’s character that keeps them open.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: My great-grandmother grew up in the days before there was electricity. Do you suppose that’s why she’s so tough?

—WONDERING IN WILMOT

DEAR WO: People who survive hard times are usually strong. By the way, did you ever stop to consider that if Thomas Edison hadn’t invented the electric light, we’d be watching TV by candlelight?

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: I have to give a report in school about the differences between communism and capitalism. Can you help get me started?

—SILVARA SOPHOMORE

DEAR SIL: Under capitalism, man exploits man. With communism, it’s just the opposite.

—ALICE

**********

CONFIDENTIAL TO READING, PA READER: Never judge a book by its movie.

—ALICE

 

 

 


Return to top

Copyright 2011-2014 Rocket-Courier. All rights reserved.