OldArchive / Just Ask Alice

Just Ask Alice

 

DEAR ALICE: What’s Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain saying about charges that he sexually harassed two of his former employees?

—WONDERING IN WYSOX

DEAR WON: Herman’s reply is just three words: Nein, Nein Nein.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: I live near you and have noticed that you’ve been driving extremely fast lately. What’s the rush?

—NERVOUS NEIGHBOR, JESTER HILL

DEAR NER: I’m driving fast because at my age if I don’t get where I’m headed to quickly, I’ll forget where I was going.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: What do you think about the Occupy Wall Street Protests?

—DUSHORE DEM

DEAR DU: It seems to me there has to be a better way to get Wall Street’s attention than by setting up a pup tent and banging on a drum.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: My wife says that when someone makes me angry, I should hold my tongue until I have an opportunity to think about what I’m going to say. I would rather say something while the passion is still hot in my heart.  Who’s right?

—FREE SPEAKER, FORKSTON

DEAR FR: Your wife is right. Speak when you’re angry and you’ll say some of the most passionate things you’ll ever regret.

—ALICE

**********

DEAR ALICE: I’m recently married to a man who is divorced and I am living with him in the house where he lived with his former wife. I’m anxious to start making some changes to the house, but am worried that I might offend him. Any suggestions?

—TIME FOR A CHANGE, TOWANDA

DEAR TI: Here’s an old maxim that might help you out. “Never take down a fence until you know why it was put up.”

—ALICE

**********

CONFIDENTIAL TO CAN’T GET IT RIGHT, CANTON: Live each day like it’s your last, and one day you will get it right.

—ALICE


Return to top

Copyright 2011-2014 Rocket-Courier. All rights reserved.